WORK YOU SON OF A BITCH!

It was a bright summer day in the city of Auckland. That's right! Devlin was currently exploring New Zealand. How you may ask? Bu very unconventional means of course! No not contacting a demon or finding a portal. He used his very own powers to get here. It was so much cheaper and faster than taking a plane or a train all the way there. Sadly... there wasn't a whole lot of odd jobs to be done or even fights to break up. It was kinda funny really, the city sounded like duckland... kinda.... not really. ANYWAY! Devlin had been exploring the city. He was surprised at just how big and vast it was. There was a shit load of people here... possibly two shit loads. Devlin continued on, what made matters worse was that he couldn't speak any of the language but, as always. You could find at least a few broken English speakers, and they just loved to talk and improve there English. But again, there were no leads to any possible jobs. Oh well... he guessed it was about time for a break.

He began his search for a vending machine which turned to be more of a pain than he thought, having to walk about a mile before even finding one. He then proceeded to walk up to it looking at the wonderful selection inside. His stomach gurgled. Yep it was time to refuel alright. Hmm now... what would his choice be? Something with chocolate? Maybe some pretzels? OH maybe some chips!? Hmm another look over and he had made his selection, he was gonna go for the Choco-Crunch bar. He dug into his pockets and pulled out his wallet. Fishing into its crevices he recovered the required change and placed it into the machine. Then he hit the button and waited..... nothing happened... he hit the button again. Still... nothing happened. He began to hit the button repeatedly and still nothing occured. That's when suddenly his dollar went all the way into the machine without depositing a snack. "....YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" He bellowed. Had that really just happened!? He began pounding on the machine now. "WORK YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled as kicks and the pounding of the machine filled the air.

Sunny, sunny day, it was, in Auckland. Stepping out of the front door, Guido reached down to grab the paper, chucking it inside, as he didn't read newspapers, rather, did the crosswords. Half-asleep, he figured caffeine was needed to remain alive, so he found himself heading down the street. He walked, seemingly forever, towards a few vending machines near a convience store, waving at passerbys, muttering "Buon giorno"s and "Come stai?"s, despite relatively few people speaking a lick of Italian. Caffeine... Caffeine... CAFFEINE! CAAAAAAAFFEEEEEIIIIINE. Soon he was rounding the corner, and chanced upon an interesting sight; some poor guy was struggling with the machine, which seemed to be malfunctioning. Well, Guido normally would have kept walking, but he'd just woken up, and he needed caffeine, STAT. So, as the guy WAS in the way of the machine, he figured he'd have to eliminate the obstacle, by means of helping the pitiful man get his snacks. So he apprached calmly, hands in pockets. Hmm... Dilemnatic what language to address him with. "Buon Giorno. For the sake of convience, my name is Esposito. Guido Esposito to be exact, but you may not refer to me as either Esposito, Guido Esposito, or any derivitave correlating to my surname, for it is not a name I proudly bear. Anyhow, if you would be so kind as to list all of the non-English languages of which you speak, if any, I could easily fix the issue." And with that, he casually kicked the machine, his foot lingering a touch longer, as electricity coursed through his nervous system, pouring into and drawing from the machine; for a few seconds, the two were symbiotically connected, as if two circuits had merged into one unified super-circuit.

"Try it now." And he stood, waiting, as the man tried again, eyes locked, lifelessly, might I add, on him. "Also, it is impolite not to introduce oneself, no? So what, pray tell, shall I call you, buon signore?"